Ready to Try Anal? Here’s How To Have Anal Sex For The First Time Without Freaking Out

For some reason (or perhaps, all the reasons), anal sex has a huge stigma and fear around it, especially when it comes to women. I’m here to say, once and for all: anal sex is just sex! I mean, it’s obviously quite complex, but it’s nothing to bug out about—especially if you follow some of these helpful tips on How To Have Anal Sex For The First Time.

So, you want to try it but don’t know where to start?


If you are curious to try anal with your partner, you should communicate the interest. If you do not know how to start the conversation, try to watch an anal scene together to break the ice. Communicating desires and fantasies with a lover is a great bonding experience and allows the relationship to prosper and deepen. This conversation should allow both of you to express concerns and boundaries before diving into the world of anal pleasures. Don’t forget to let your partner read our helpful guide on How To Have Anal Sex For The First Time.

Pleasure for All

Both men and women can experience GREAT pleasures and sexual satisfaction via anal stimulation. The female vagina shares a wall with the rectum. The sensitive nerves and receptors can be pleasurably stimulated through this wall allowing for G-spot stimulation and orgasm. Men of all sexual orientations enjoy anal stimulation. The prostate, or P-Spot, in considered the male G-spot. It is located within the rectum, up towards the testicles. The prostate is full of nerves that are sensitive to ANY kind of contact. Stimulating the prostate can provoke intense orgasms.

Set Boundaries

Deciding to have anal sex is a big decision, and don’t let someone else tell you differently. Your body, your rules. If you feel as if your partner is pressuring you into having anal sex, think inward about if it’s something you truly want.

Don’t Forget To Use Condoms

Just because you’re not at risk of pregnancy doesn’t mean you can’t spread bacteria and STIs through anal sex

Getting Started on How To Have Anal Sex For The First Time.

Starting small is best for gaining experience in the anus without being too overwhelming. Use a finger or a small/narrow butt plug for your first experience. Be sure that the stimulator is well lubricated. The anus does not provide any natural lubrication. A generous amount of lube is essential. We carry a variety of anal lubricants. Many of them contain a desensitizer to prevent potential pain. Silicone based lubricants will last longer and cause less friction. ALWAYS start by SLOWLY and GENTLY inserting the stimulator. NEVER FORCE its entrance or direction; the penetrant will be guided by the body for maximum comfort. When you have tried and enjoyed anal stimulation you can move on to bigger and better things.

Try different positions

Although doggy style is the position you likely first thought of for anal sex, it might not be the best for you and your partner. You on top allows you to control the speed and depth, putting you in charge of what’s going on down there, which might make you feel a little more at ease. Missionary also allows a little bit of control on your end and might feel really comfortable and familiar. Spooning is also a good position to try as a beginner; you and your partner are able to get really close while also sharing the control. Trying different positions allows you to know what works best for you. If you feel any pain or discomfort, stop, take a break, and bust out a different position to see if that eases up.

Breathe and go slow

The anus isn’t meant to take penetration like the vagina. So it’s important to calm down, breathe, and go slow. There was never a more prevalent time to say “go with the flow” than when you first try anal sex. It will feel awkward, weird, and maybe like you have to go to bathroom—and that’s exactly how it should feel. Take deep breaths through it, and keep going with it unless it does become painful or uncomfortable enough to want to stop. This is also why it’s important to have your partner thrust in very slow and controlled movements.

Remember when you first had penetrative sex and it hurt a lot and then felt fine and then felt pretty good? That’s how anal sex goes too. If you’re having sex with someone with a penis, the head is, generally, the widest part, so once you get past that, it’ll start to feel better.

Add toys

If you want to try anal play but aren’t quite ready for penetration, toys are a great way to get yourself up to it.

What are the different types of anal sex toys?

Here is a brief overview of all the anal sex toys you might come across or encounter when looking for your perfect toys.

Anal beads 

These are a series of balls or beads on a cord of some kind that fastens them in a line. One end has a loop which you can use to pull the beads out of the anus with. As you do this, it stretches and contracts the wall to provide varying stimulation. This feeling can induce orgasm or the removal of beads during orgasm makes the orgasm even better.

Anal dildos

Dildos can be used as anal toys so long as they have a flared base. They are available in a wide variety of sizes, materials, textures, and colours. Smoother dildos are best for anal play. We recommend silicone dildos for beginners since they are more flexible.

Butt plugs

Anal plugs are bulb-shaped toys which are inserted into the anus. These anal toys create a sensation of fullness without having to move it back-and-forth. They have a small narrow neck that expands to a flared base.

During orgasm, anal muscles contract along with the muscles of the vagina or penis. Therefore, plugs intensify the pleasure. Since the wall between the vagina and rectum is thin, many women like to use plugs during sex.

Butt plugs sizes range from about the size of a pinkie finger to a fist and are available in silicone, glass & metal.

Anal douches and Enemas

These are in the form of a pump you fill with warm water. They are then inserted into the anal cavity where the water is squirted. When this comes out naturally, it leaves a cleaner opening that’s ready for anal play.

Prostate Massagers 

These for men has an curved to pinpoints your prostate gland and stimulates it. Which can also help men to achieve an anal orgasm. It either used for anal play or for health reasons to milk the prostate.

Tail butt plugs

These are butt plugs with fake fox, wolf or cat tails attached to them. These are for people who like role playing, and they’re fun to look at too.

Jewel butt plugs

These are the same as a regular butt plug but with a large jewel embedded into it. Fancy!

Large plugs

These are definitely for the anal connoisseur who wants the extreme feeling. These toys are at the very limit of anal play.

Inflatable butt plugs

These begin like a regular butt plug or a touch smaller. However, once inserted, you can pump away and really stretch those inner muscles to give you that really full feeling.

Safety Advice and Special Considerations

Anal intercourse can be just as safe as vaginal sex. But the anus doesn’t automatically fully lubricate itself. Adequate anal lubrication required to reduce friction inside the rectum. Excessive friction can cause intense pain and may cause internal damage. Consult your doctor if you have further anxiety prior to anal exploration.

Never go from anus to vagina

If you and your partner decide to move on from anal to vaginal sex, make sure your partner cleans themselves or whatever toy they’re using first. Bacteria can easily travel from one to the other, and we don’t want any UTIs, BV, or yeast infections right now.


Hands should be washed, and fingernails should be trimmed prior to activity. Any object being inserted into the body must be cleaned and dried according to the item’s care instructions. Do not insert anything into the vagina that was used in the anus without proper cleaning. Bacteria maybe transferred which may cause vaginal discomfort or infection. Cleanse and rinse EVERYTHING used in the anus after activity. We recommended emptying the bowels 30-60 minutes before engaging in anal play. This will optimize comfort levels during the experience and will help prevent unintentional expelling. Remember your anal douche for worry-free anal play. This anal cleansing device provides you with safe and effective cleaning while being comfortable and easy to use. Wet toilet paper wipes are perfect to ensure full cleanliness around the anus and during sexual activity.

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